It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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