normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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