we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
