A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
