you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
my liver is dry heaving
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
