mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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