I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
