I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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