Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
