So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
