Sponge bath it is.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
