all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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