Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Liz is crying about burritos again.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
