I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
