So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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