He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
