is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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