My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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