i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
