i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize