I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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