Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
