I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
