just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
