what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
