i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
