i need an iv and a liver transplant
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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