did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
