she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
