not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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