I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Randomize
