I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Randomize
