How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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