Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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