Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
