i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
