It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
