So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
