hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Actions speak louder than pants.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
