he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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