who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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