i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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