it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
