so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
