forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
