It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
