In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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