There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
