Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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