Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
