you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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