why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i will never coherently bang her
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
