when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
oh god the rape fog is back!
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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