May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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