I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
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