Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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