She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
