Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
